Laura

Pandora’s Box

2007-02-23T11:39:00.000-05:00

I had a nightmare & a strange dream this morning. The first one I remember is about a man who was in my back yard on a sunny day, using a weedwacker. I couldn’t see this man, so I am assuming this person is a man. While doing his “routine” trimming, he turned the instrument on a man (either himself or another) and wacked the head off, committing homicide. A clean, precise act. It was evident that my life was in danger. I hid behind some dark-stained, door-sliding cabinet, which was the height of the back of a couch that faced the two sliding doors that separated the attacker in the lush greenness and my near-hyperventilating self. I crouch in the bareness of the air, peeping over the sofa for vantage point, only learning that I lost sense of the killer’s location. He’s no where in site. The grass lightly rustles in the sunny breeze. Fear holds my eyelids open. The whiteness consumes me.

I struggle to say something to someone. Was it in French? Was it Mannigan? I try a number of times, to no avail. I am pleading for help in a low, deliberate voice. I repeat the words, but the message is not getting across. My heart races. I awake, mouthing the words, by the sound of my voice, as if a starting a stalled engine. The room is twilit, either by daylight or by the street lights. I shift my body, uneasy and hot, and tell myself it was only a dream. A pang of another movement – not necessarily my own – lingers. Am I alone?

The second dream was of my extended family. We are gathered by my maternal grandfather’s assumed death bed. He is ill. One of us tries to feed him a glucose liquid of some kind. Someone else says he hasn’t eaten in days, thus the frail, gaunt appearance. He is lying down, head and torso slightly angled up. The liquid is fed to him in a syrup container, the metal kind you’d see containing gravy for a turkey or roasted pork. I take it from one of my aunts and gingerly pour, holding his jaw with my other hand. In moments, he regains consciousness and jumps out of bed like a teenager. Energetically raising his body, his drapey clothes hang off him like a hanger. I can see his skin-covered skeleton. He joyously laughs; it breaks us of our solemnity and we stand up, applaud, smiling. Tears of joy. We head out for a meal.

This leaves me bizarre. What is plaguing my black holes?

Image by Marat Zakharin Tamara Gallery.com, posted on http://www.picsearch.com/info.cgi?q=black%20hole&id=UEq20pyawpH1ZIVu97f3vFpGAIvxOF9EaLP2nu4mL20

Twiggy Ski

2006-10-02T14:15:00.000-04:00

http://www.skiingsquirrel.com/index.htm

Wodo

2006-09-06T16:08:00.000-04:00

Someone save me from this boredom! I have only one hour left at work with no work to do. One day I'll be wishing for this to be back. I wonder when and what I'll be doing. I think it's ironic how I'm the only one who knows what lies ahead and only I possess the tools and skills to take "control" of life. If only I knew how to tap into them.

Our Favorite Restaurants

2006-08-17T16:44:00.000-04:00

In no specific order: Grimaldi's, Cafe Steinhof & SEA (Brooklyn), Otto, Kashkaval, Ditch Plains, Napoli (Queens)

Force

2006-08-16T10:17:00.000-04:00

This morning I woke up feeling like the life was sucked out of me. Not sure what I'm capable of today.

I got to work and now I'm headed for a smoothie with an "energie boost".

2006-08-15T16:48:00.000-04:00

Sometimes, often times rather, I question my mission in life. I understand once people have children, they should be responsible to raising them. What about before that? Are we here to amuse, entertain and torture ourselves?

The value of my 9 to 5 job is superficial and not personal. I know I am not the only one in this disposition. How do I know what gives me that gratification? I know what I like, but to take any hobby or pastime seriously, people say research is needed. Why can't I do what I want and just be happy?

Tim Hortons

2006-08-11T12:03:00.000-04:00

Could someone help me get a Tim Hortons visor? It's not sold on their site nor ebay.

http://www.timhortons.com/

Cute or Cruel?

2006-08-09T12:20:00.000-04:00

I got this off myspace.com. What do you think - cute or cruel?

Name That Idiom

2006-08-09T12:12:00.000-04:00

In this great city, many things happen and I have evidence to prove it.

Like Live Five on Dice

2006-08-09T11:58:00.000-04:00

(L-R) Dwayne Mann, Jeremy Leventhal, Cem Kurosman, Simone Secco, Christopher Mannigan in a human bake party chez Cem. Notice the range in expressions and depth of perspective.
Taken 21.7.06

Blaine is Inane

2006-05-04T11:59:00.002-04:00

http://www.nytimes.com/aponline/arts/AP-TV-David-Blaine.html?_r=1&oref=slogin

http://www.smh.com.au/news/world/blaines-pain-bubble-bursts/2006/05/08/1146940460019.html

The above link(s) raises a few questions:
1) I wonder what his parents think.
2) Who sponsors him - Duracell/Speedo?
3) Why doesn't he try living/standing in the blackened veins of the NYC subway system, namely on the tracks between the trains (going in different directions) at 34th Street for at least two months, since apparently he has nothing more useful to do with his time?? How about watching the world's longest movie 150 times -loop- to monitor the effects of pins and needles, memorization and concentration, while suspended with/by a Gortex (trademark) harness from the world's tallest building (which I hear is in Malasia or China), slowly sipping on his own purified urine for the sake of science? That would be more useful and producing less waste than relieving himself through some tube and having it chucked into the public sewage system. Moreover, his training with the SEALS would have more than likely covered the risk of earthquake in the Far East.

Unloaded

2006-03-08T17:09:00.001-05:00

My Heroine:
http://www.forbes.com/technology/feeds/ap/2006/03/06/ap2574642.html

Strike

2005-12-20T16:28:00.000-05:00

Here's a picture of a few dedicated workers. My thoughts about the strike are not sympathetic. If people are not pleased with their jobs; they prepare to leave on their own accord, not to cause inconvenience to an entire city and its economy. This strike is selfish and outrageous. Management and the union came to an agreement. An agreement is two parties consenting on set conditions. If the employees are not happy with them, they should have investigated the negotiating terms or not accepted the job. They shouldn't complain to the public about their health concerns; they knew about the environment accepting the job. Being treated badly is not a legitimate reason. Curmudgeonly people do not deserve to be in management positions nor should they be encouraged to take it out on employees, thereby perpetuating the negativity. Are they bound for life to work there? What about their pensions? We all work to save for a time when our bodies have passed their primes. Your comments?

Blood Pressure & Pets

2005-12-12T10:08:00.000-05:00

http://www.health-alliance.com/contentarchive/January00/heart.html
I'm naming my dog "Angioplasty."

New York in Early December '05

2005-12-08T20:58:00.000-05:00

I think that sleeper (pic under trees) is the same as the one I caught on Dec. 1st. Notice the posture and shoes... Hmmm?

Made Up

2005-12-07T16:01:00.000-05:00

Nothing much to say about this.
Photoshoot - Nov. 19th, 2005
Subjects: Natasha Townsend, Laura Lok
Photographer: David Valez
Make up/Hair: Natasha Townsend
Clothing/Hair: Laura Lok

News from My Pen Pal

2005-12-06T17:18:00.000-05:00

I thought of Jill last week, while a few of my New York friends were over. I thought I might track her down if I sent a brief note to her old address and the other one I found online. Well, wooooddnchoooo believe, she emailed me today. I learned that she has a daughter named Neenie, is married to a civil engineer and works at Bell South from home to care for her newborn. Thank goodness for old school and good family relations!

NYC Street Scenes

2005-12-01T16:55:00.000-05:00

Looks Like a Mullet

2005-12-01T16:51:00.000-05:00

11th Ave. Sept. Sun

2005-12-01T16:47:00.000-05:00

CN Tower

2005-11-25T20:19:00.000-05:00

Allergies

2005-11-25T19:23:00.000-05:00

My theory is that when my urban-living self leaves NYC, my immune system is no longer adept at living in my hometown without irksome allergies. Is it because all NY air is affected by our business (driving cars, a/c, heat, trucks, construction machinery, farting, smoking, etc.)? Is my respiratory system better at filtering evaporated piss than dust mite-ridden linens?

On a different note, in the car with my folks, on our way back to the ranch, this mind-blowing concept that we were created by aliens and the way we feel time is not accurate or real revisited my limited gray matter. While we're all sitting hear being pissed-off, amused and impatient about the Bush administration and other "worldly wrong-doings," we are being observed by (a) superior being(s). Are we the control group or the experimental group? Which planet houses the other group? How successful are we at distracting ourselves with ourselves? What's the point of our existence? Mundane and common thoughts, I'm sure...

Reunions

2005-11-24T13:52:00.000-05:00

Didn't bring any pics, but I should do well to develop them in an hour's time to upload them here. Goin' to da gym! as an "ex" would say. It was an inside joke. Chicken on the menu, not turkey tonight.

Sniff

2005-03-17T21:11:00.000-05:00

Life of Pi

2005-03-15T23:34:00.000-05:00

Laura wants cornballs for her birthday. When was the last time you had one? If you know where to get one, let her know! She would be eternally greatful.

Weeerd

2005-03-10T22:53:00.000-05:00

It's funny how people like to use the word "actually." Did you ever wonder what they really mean?
Also, I love pizza with hot crushed peppers and red wine! Ah, to die fo'!

Blowing in the Wind

2005-03-09T00:22:00.000-05:00

After my colleague waited on Ashley Olsen, I went to tell the girl next door the proper name of the song and band I'd been pining after for quite some time, Float On by Modest Mouse. Then the rest of the day was pretty much a blizzard. I met a designer and nearly got my eyeballs blown out of their sockets! I rode the metro home with inpirations for a future shoot. Neat day.

Reach Out

2005-03-03T00:33:00.000-05:00

It's a wonder why and how we fit into the history of mankind and the battles fought. I just finished watching "The Last Emperor," by Bernardo Bertolucci. The film covers an era when my parents were born. My father tells a story of his escape from incarceration and how his family's possessions were taken and burnt. I am grateful and most certainly spoiled by not having to endure the hardships of betrayal, corruption and uprooting. On the other hand, I find myself pondering, "who am I?" This question reminds me of the conversation I had one night, explaining why I answer questions the way I do. When I was in suburbia, people used to - and still do - question, "Where are you from?" My immediate response, after some contemplation on the correct answer, is "Connecticut." However, I know that from the way I look that people who ask this question are not pleased with the answer. I follow the response with a cliff-note to explain my genetic appearance, "My parents are from China." They seem relieved to know that I am not adopted and not some freak of nature... I am not sure I am completely knowledgeable of or fully embracing my background and upbringing. I feel a struggle or emergence within me that seems painstakingly slow. Should I feel a void for not being raised in the country where my parents were born? Should I feel as though I am betraying that country? It was not my choice to be born here. My citizenship, in my parents' eyes, has provided me a lever that other "Chinese" would not otherwise possess. It is the American nationality. With each day that passes, I am not sure that I am happy with their choice. When will I accept it? Will I accept it? If not, where would I go?

Yay to Real Friends; Nay to Mens

2005-02-21T22:17:00.000-05:00

Flake and I made plans to have lunch last week for 1P.M. today, but she didn't call me to cancel. I called to check if it was alright for my hometown friend, Real, to join since Real was playing the day by ear and hadn't seen me in about a year. That was when Flake told me the news; she said she got called into work and would call me back; she might be in the mood for a movie. At 4:41P.M. Flake called to see what I was up to and by that point, (Real invited a friend of hers to have some coffee) the three of us were at Coffee Shop at Union Square. I asked her if she was at work and she said she was at home; she asked me if I checked out the times the movie was playing, to which I replied, "No, I didn't know what you wanted to see."
- I don't have access to the internet at home and I don't know what time the movies are playing... Do you want to reschedule?
- I would be able to do something next week.
- Let's touch base next week, then. I am going to do laundry so I have clean underwear tomorrow.
I felt bothered that she made plans with me and didn't seem to care she completely blew them off and was unapologetic... She earned herself some demerits today, a.k.a. she is working herself to the "write-off" list.
I have to say that I proclaim Real to be one of my best friends. She and I have a chemistry, understanding and standards that are extremely similar. Though we were friends late in high school and a bit after college, we managed to build our relationship through the years. We agreed to make tentative plans and enjoyed the casual easiness of the passing of our time together... I cherish our relationship, especially because there is no bullshit.
Of late, the man in my life has been indecisive, a trait I have never known him to possess. His indicision turns me off, demeans the meeting and continues to give me a mixed message... i.e. would seeing me be enough reason for him to travel to NYC or does he need an "ulterior motive" (shopping for something he's had his eye on)? I am sorry that my passion for people is so powerful that I cannot allow them to take back or revise plans upon which have been mutually agreed. Am I a stickler? Valuable relationships should be more smooth than troublesome or inconvenient, more natural than contrived... Why is it that basic events can be a waste of time and effort and give me such angst/drama?

Amish Pizza

2005-02-18T23:50:00.000-05:00

Can I just say, "This pizza is daaammmmnnnn fine!" Here's my plug for pizza from the "Amish Market": Order a pepperoni pizza with basil, broccoli, tomatoes, zuccini and onions. Once you have it in your hands, sprinkle generiously pepper, garlic and crushed peppers. Yumm. E.... Yeah.

Crooked 10:37P.M.

2005-02-17T22:40:00.000-05:00

Blackalicious. I just bought their blazing arrow album... I sit slouched in this office chair I found in the refuse closet. I am sure the crease over my belly button is deepening. I have spent the majority of the day alone, but not lonely. My mother worries and I was supposed to call her at 7. I will do so now. Her cell rings. I think I will end up in her voicemail and my father picks up. He passes the phone to my mother. I immediately get a call from Natasha. I have to call her back. My mother complains about paperwork - health insurance papers. She's telling me that my father is doing a photo project for his old medical mates from their reunion.

I like Wild Oats and Trader Joe's. Too bad they don't have any in the city...